Inspiring Lives: Small Girl, Big Dreams

Vital statistics: 30-24-32; 4'9''; 86 pounds. For a 24-year lass, pretty small, right? Yes, very small. And she is Josie Mae Mari, known to friends as Nhenie.

To give a little justice to the title and to begin in a lighter note, I feel it nice to begin talking about smallness - her smallness. The first time I saw her, I thought she was interesting not only because of the way she speaks and the peculiar way she dresses but because she is petite.

I find special fondness for petite girls, not because I am bitter about my size or that I wish to throw a pity-party with people sharing my misfortune, not even because looking at them makes me feel 'cute'- to the cute sense of the word.

It is actually because I could get some ounce of inspiration and challenge from these girls who may be short-sized for the beauty queen and PMA-material but just the right size for all other big dreams under the sun.

In many ways, most people think that life is unfair. But from a very optimistic perspective, Josie sees the world in an entirely positive light and therefore believes that life is just fair. After all, one does not need to bear specific physical attributes to qualify for big ambitions.

Looking at her now, you would not probably associate the figure to one who is in-charge of the monthly electricity and water bills, the housing rental (to own) fees, and the rice budget for the whole family.

Well, these are the obligations she has been bearing since she got a job. While responsibility at the present is not easy to take on, getting through this stage had been a whole lot harder.

When she was much younger (24 is still young), just like every innocent girl, she was a carefree but timid kid. Clueless of the idea of responsibility then, she just enjoyed life to the most that childhood allowed. In fact, she enjoyed it too much that she jokingly admitted she had been a bad girl at one point.

"Salbahis man ko sa una!" ("I was bad before!"), to put her exact words. It is curious how bad she had gone, but I am pretty sure she has not committed any 'major major' (to borrow Venus Raj's description) transgression enough to deprive herself peace at the present. I believe being a bad girl then was equivalent to being a happy-go-lucky high school toughie.

Upon finishing high school, she realized life was to be taken more seriously than ever. She feared she would not make it to college due to financial constraints. That motivated her to start becoming a good girl.

Looking at their family situation then, she felt college was not feasible- almost impossible. She kept on praying for God to open doors of opportunities for college specifically in forms of scholarship grants and the like.

Unfortunately though, it was always either she got the information late or that slots were out before she even learned about them. Super-optimistic still, she never wavered. She was just convinced something was in store for her; she only needed to wait and see.

An answered prayer, the Lord extended His arms to her through the generosity of Ms. Mae Evangelista, who was a teller in the University of Visayas. Her endorsement paved Josie's way to the UV library, and eventually to her reading of the book "The Little Women" - the only book she had ever finished reading.

In a way, the character Josephine or Jo in this story gave her inspiration because aside from the fact that they had the same name (she is called Jo in UV lib), her character, a writer of great fighting spirit was someone she could easily identify with.

Although she was working in the university library, she became in one sense a scholar of Ate Mae. Thus, for three consecutive years, she and her younger sibling had to act as caretaker of the latter's home at Camella Subdivision every Christmas break when the Evangelistas spent the season in Bohol.

Josie was more than grateful and many times she intended on expressing it to Ate Mae. But timid as she naturally was, she always grew tongue-tied when she tried to verbally say "Thank you". Several times she bought some gift stuff for her, to no avail yet again. Thinking Ate Mae already had everything, none of those gifts ever reached her.

On top of it all, Josie always carried her head low before Ate Mae when she needed her signature prior to the exams. Once, she was able to give her a Thirsty carrot juice and a slice of brownies for snacks. And since all her other good intentions were unsuccessfully acted out, she only hoped her gratitude was audibly communicated through that carrot juice and by how well she did in her studies.

Now a working scholar, she needed to manage her time more wisely if she had to keep pace with the regular students. In front of her classmates, she was not necessarily intimidated but still timid.

Later though, in dire need, she tried to conquer her timidity in order to take advantage of some 'free rides' which was not just an option but a necessity to cope with her financial disadvantage. She volunteered to make some projects and assignments for her classmates in exchange of other favors.

And in most difficult situations, she learned to muster enough courage to be able to out rightly say, "Classmates, ako ra pa-photocopy, sa akoa ra mo magbayad. Pero ang subra akoa na dayon ha?!" ("Classmates, I'll do the photocopying for you, simply give me the payment, and I'll just keep any change, right?!").

She was all at first feeling awkward, but after a while, she was surprised at how she had seemingly gotten her master's degree on it even before she got her bachelor's degree on computer engineering.

Despite someone's help however, Josie still felt the financial instability had gotten a grip right on her foothold that she could not seem to move about conveniently. While she was already overwhelmed by the poverty which came more real to her than ever, it was also at the same time that she witnessed the shaky relationship between her parents.

She could still remember those occasions when their parents quarreled in front of them yelling at each other as though they had never known and not loved each other anymore. It made things even more unbearable.

At first, it was only her youngest sister that cried during those fights. The girl was so confused and afraid and as a big sister, she felt miserable because she could not even protect her from feeling that way.

Eventually, still unable to help, she also joined her sister's agony. Not long after that, when their parents' fights became more frequent and more physical, even their only brother cried along.

This part of her life introduced her to the enormous responsibility that was born alongside her being the eldest. Life was so heavy on her and she could not seem to figure out how the three of them could get through it. Being the eldest, she decided she would always gather enough courage herself in order to keep the family from falling apart.

Good thing, her mother, despite their limited resources, was supportive of her studies. Hence, she always looked forward to the day when things would get better when school is done. Probably then, as she helps the family financially, their relationship would also get better.

Unlike most students who could point back to a specific date or period of their student years when asked about the greatest challenge they have gone through, to Josie, every single day during those five years was a challenge to face.

Every morning, when the part of asking for transportation fare came up routinely, she always had to hold her tears back hearing the sickening reply of her father, "Wala'y kwarta!" ("No money!"). She already memorized that part of her daily life and yet she could still not escape from it.

Things were probably for others more than a valid reason to give up. But that never crossed her mind. Even from the very beginning, she already resolved to finish what she started. She never considered quitting an option.

Where she is now is already her greatest achievement, so far. Despite the burdens of the present, this is far better. This is after all what she really wanted to do- to help her family. This is already a dream come true, so to speak. Every time she traces her journey back, she is now certain as to where she got all the strength that held her through the whole time. And that becomes all the more meaningful every time she sings this song:

"He who began a good work in you… He who began a good work in you…Will be faithful to complete it… He who started the work will be faithful to complete it in you."

It's echoing the words the Apostle Paul left for the Philippians during his day.

Just like you and me, Josie is still a work in progress. God is not done with her yet. She still has a lot of other and bigger dreams, traveling around the world for example.

The best is yet to come. And the truth that kept her strong in those hard days is the same truth that keeps her hopes high as she still strides for bigger dreams.

According to the song The Climb, there is always gonna be another mountain. But nothing is ever going to intimidate her now because God will be faithful to complete the work he has started in her. She believes that no matter how small we are or we think we are, we are all just the right size to dream BIG!